The Three Coreys

Script by Michael Klassen

Performed by Michael Klassen, Corey White and J.B. Shayne for Coast 1040's Hollywood North Report

MUSIC: Bad Rock On…"Hey kids, summertime blues…

Slow down Kino's voice – make it "BIG."

Kino: They're back for summer '93. The one and only Corey Haim…

CLIP: What the hell is "heh"? Why can't you laugh like a man?

Straight outta rehab, Corey Feldman…

CLIP: You were expecting maybe Freddy Kreuger?

Kino: and in his big screen debut, Corey White…

CLIP: No stalls or accidents reported on any of the major – Oh my god look out!

SFX: Machine gun fire

Kino: The three Coreys are together at last, and we've got 'em, Blownnn Awaaay…

MUSIC: Tough Enuff as bed underneath.

CLIP: I've gotten in 2 fights in two days, look at my face this is ridiculous.

Kino: Blown Away!

CLIP: I've taken about all I can stand from that van – I'm selling the damn thing.

CLIP: What're you going to do with the gun, Joel, the gun. I'm your friend, Joel. I just don't wanna see you go to jail, y'know? Jail? Behind bars? Hey! Don't humiliate me, man, alright?

SFX: Machine gun fire.

Kino: Blown Away! Featuring funnyman Jack Hardsprinkle…

CLIP: What're you doing over there you rotten little buttwad!

Kino: and a cameo appearance by none other than J.B. Shayne…

CLIP: What's all this I hear about all-you-can-eat salad bar?

Kino: Plus soundtrack by Loverboy's Mike Reno…

MUSIC: Mike Reno song. (Can play out through piece)

Kino: The Three Coreys! You wanted 'em, we've got 'em. Corey Haim…

CLIP: She wanted me, I know she wanted me, well every girl wants me.

Kino: Corey Feldman…

CLIP: It's no wonder I'm so screwed up!

Kino: and Corey White…

CLIP: If there's somewhere I can snowboard in August, I'll find it, Sweetie.

Kino: Blown Away!

SFX: Explosion!

Tag: (Sped up) Not coming to a theatre near you. A Dream Team production.