The Aaron Spelling Museum

TV mogul Aaron Spelling builds a production studio in a retired Vancouver brewery. Shayne and sidekick 'Kino' Klassen deliberately trespass to get a closer look.
Script by Michael Klassen

SFX: Music creepy ambience

Shayne:

Where's Kino? comes the call. Prolonged absences by Hollywood North's ace reporter and Showbiz Shayne sidekick, Kino Klassen, usually provoke calls and letters from listeners. I wish I had good news.

In our efforts to gain an exclusive story Yours Truly and Kino will occasionally bend the rules. Such was the case when we hopped the fence of the new Aaron Spelling studios in Kitsilano in search of the TV mogul's rumoured museum, brought up in its entirety from Tinseltown.

Let's go back a few nights.

SFX: Reverb. Footsteps. We're in a hollow warehouse.

Kino:

Shayne, hand me that flashlight. Holy, are you alright? You ripped heck out of your jacket on that razor wire.

Shayne:

It's nothing, Kino. Look let's just find this museum and get out. I don't think we can keep hidden for long. Security looked pretty tight outside.

Kino:

Shayne, just keep calm, man. A buddy of mine who worked as a grip here says he saw part of the Spelling Museum.

Shayne:

Yeah, but that buddy's disappeared since hasn't he?

SFX: Bottles rattle.

Kino:

Watch it, Shayne! Pay attention to where you're going. Hey, would you look at that.

Shayne:

What's that, Kino?

Kino:

It's an old case of Carling beer, in stubby bottles. That must be worth something.

Shayne:

Forget about the brewery, this is a film studio now. Let's find the private museum of TV's greatest mogul, Aaron Spelling, and get out.

Kino:

Just imagine, the man behind Happy Days, Fantasy Island, Beverly Hills 2001, uh, Dynasty…

Shayne:

Charlie's Angels, don't forget Charlie's girls.

Kino:

Wait. Look at that door. Let's try it.

Shayne:

Kino, this isn't a good idea. Let's turn around.

Kino:

Shayne, you promised you wouldn't be a sissy. Now turn the handle.

SFX: Sound of heavy door creaking open.

Shayne/Kino (together):

Wow!

Shayne:

This is amazing. Kino, look it's a wax replica of Luke Perry.

Kino:

Down here, Shayne. You've got to see this.

Shayne:

Oh my, it's a brass-plated Farrah Fawcett-Majors.

Kino:

Must be 30-feet high, don't you think?

Shayne:

Is that the Fantasy Island section down there?

Kino:

Where the float plane is? Let's see. Yeah, there's Ricardo Montalbon, and Hervé Villèchaise.

Shayne:

Tattoo!

Kino:

Shayne, I gotta take Tattoo. It'll kill at this party I'm going to.

Shayne:

No, Kino, that's a bad idea.

Tattoo:

Hey, what you doing? Boss! Boss!

SFX: Alarm sirens/bells. Then dogs barking, clothes tearing.

Shayne:

Kino, head for the fence.

Kino:

Ah! The dog's got my leg. Run, Shayne, run! Ah! Tell the people what you've seen!

End of SFX. Shayne back at studio.

Shayne:

So that's what happened. Kino, if you're out there, call.